Friday, January 16, 2009

The year that could be.

I'm one prone to phases, and I'm wondering, am I a big flake? (don't answer that) Or can we call it spontaneous living? (I like that better) For instance I've put on my life list that I'd like to live in a small historic town, like Stars Hollow. And then other days I decide I'd like to live in the big city within walking distance to everything I need, like Pittsburgh. And there is my proverbial "van down by the river". My constant back up plan. The odds are there I tell you, as I am sure we have a relative somewhere that will let us park our van down by the river when the time comes.

I think the core of who I am doesn't waver, but my favorite things seem to come and go in season. Like, this month I've been on a peanut butter and banana kick. I have it every day for breakfast. A couple months ago it was egg white breakfast tacos on whole wheat tortillas, and then the next month oatmeal from scratch. Every day. I mean, I don't stop liking egg white tacos on whole wheat tortillas, I just become taken with the next one, the oatmeal for instance. I read a magazine article and decided I would eat oatmeal to save my life, and loved it. I'll get back to the tacos eventually. This habit of not having a habit makes for a very cluttered kitchen, pantry, and refrigerator. It also causes me to wander through the grocery store, sometimes going down the same aisle 3 times before I'm done. I do some of my best thinking there. But that is another discussion for another day all together. It makes my husband CRAZY.

Music is another area that I wander in and out of. Jazz, Miles Davis for days. Or I get on a Billie Holiday groove. I once listened to the same Superchick CD for over a month straight every day. I've been craving opera lately. Chris is taking me to see Roberto Devereux next weekend. I have referred to the variety I have bookmarked in Pandora in this post, so I bet you get how far my taste in music varies. And I have to be in the MOOD to listen. Can't mix it all up. I have music phases.

Maybe all of these are symptoms of the clutter disorder I seem to have. I think I thrive on it. I'm constantly zooming through the clutter in my mind, and in my immediate world. So I ask you, might this be the year that I get on one track and stay there? Get organized for once and stay focused? I don't know if I would be me if I did. I'm not sure that life would have the same zest without my clutter.

And here Chris, April and Mavis are on New Years Eve. I began this year surrounded with love, one of the things in my life that does not waver. No phases in the love I have for my family.

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